Pass Me By
by cpnswan
Summary: He's never been one for commitment, but when his ship wrecks and he's stuck in a drowsy little town, he thinks he'll finally give it a try. (day after day after day Killian tries faithfully to make Emma Swan fall in love with him).
1. things we lost

**Hello there! This is my new chapter fic, and it's an AU based on the film ****_50 First Dates_****, which I recommend watching if you haven't. Be prepared for a ton of fluff and a buttload of angst. Sorry. Kind of.**

**Anything you recognize doesn't belong to me.**

* * *

It was his brother, Liam, who'd first given him the idea to sail the world.

So, it was because of Liam that he started to do just that. Built his own ship and everything, something he was proud of but would never admit.

By extension, he thinks grumpily, it's his brother's fault the bloody vessel fell apart miles from any shore and he had to be rescued by the Coast Guard. They pull him out of the ocean, pouting, and send him walking through a drowsy looking town they call Storybrooke.

_Bastard_, Killian thinks, but he smiles at the memory of his brother all the same.

It's sinfully hot, and a flock of sweaty, underdressed teenagers rush towards a tiny little diner called Granny's. And though he scoffs at the idea of surrounding himself with screaming brats and old maids bickering over bridge, he assumes it has air conditioning, and the notion of cooling down wins out in the end.

That's how he finds himself in a quant little diner, where the screaming brats are actually sitting respectively at the counter and ordering milkshakes, and the oldest patron is the one taking their orders with a stern eye but a soft smile. Killian takes a seat at the bar, and a different woman makes her way towards him, notepad in hand. She's long legs and red lips, and she looks at Killian with pure curiosity.

"Now, Storybrooke is a really small town," she says, "and it doesn't get tourists, so I'm almost positive I've never seen you before."

"You'd remember a face as dashing as this," Killian says with a wink, but the woman has none of it, raising her eyebrow unamused. He sighs and leans back in his chair. "I'm a sailor and my ship wrecked a few miles offshore. I'm just here until I can get it repaired."

"Huh," the woman says, narrowing her eyes. Then, her face stretches into a grin, and in an instant her attitude has changed. "Okay then. I'm Ruby, that over there is Granny—" a point to the old patron handing out milkshakes— "and if you need anything, we're here to help. Is there something we can get to start you off?"

"Just a cup of coffee is all, lass," Killian answers. "Already had breakfast."

"Ruby, get the poor man a stack of pancakes and some bacon, he's gonna need more than coffee."

The young woman, Ruby, Killian assumes, rolls her eyes before giving him a sarcastic smile. "All the best service here at Granny's! We'll have those pancakes and that coffee out in just a few."

"No, no," he protests, but Ruby waltzes away and in her place is the stern, elderly woman. "Really, I've already eaten."

Granny looks him up and down with skeptical eyes. "And what did you have today?"

Killian swallows and scratches the back of his ear. "I had a bottle of water and a Snickers bar."

"How nutritious," the woman deadpans. "Don't worry, water boy, this breakfast is on us. Lucky for you, we take well to newcomers."

But Killian wasn't listening. In an instant, his attention is captured by the blonde woman sitting in the corner booth, sprinkling cinnamon onto a cup topped with whipped cream with her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth. He is entranced by her smile when she's thoroughly coated the cream, and for a moment he forgets how to breathe when she catches his gaze with green eyes. She looks away quickly, blush grazing her cheeks, but when she looks back he offers her a small wave.

He's still staring when Ruby walks up to her table and puts down a plate of food. The woman's next smile is more brilliant than any he could have imagined. "Thanks, Ruby. Oh, and I love the new red in your hair."

"Thanks, Emma," Ruby says cheerfully, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

He catches Ruby's wrist on her return, eyes still on the enticing woman, and he murmurs, "Who is she?"

Ruby snorts and pulls away from him. "That's Emma Swan," she said. "And she is _so_ out of your league."

* * *

Emma Swan is _not _out of his league, he can have any woman he wants, and she's the most beautiful thing he'd seen since—

Killian stops ten paces in front of the diner, and forces himself to stop that train before it derails him once again. He takes a deep breath and continues to walk, confidently, back into the diner.

One glance has Emma sitting in the same spot as yesterday, with her mug sitting untouched and thoroughly coated in front of her. She is reading, he noticed with a smile, and he places himself at the booth in front of hers.

"Welcome back, water boy," Ruby says as she walks up to his table with a cup of coffee in hand. "Coffee's on the house, courtesy of Granny. Anything else?"

Killian can barely tear his eyes away from the beautiful blonde, Emma, to say, "Some eggs would be wonderful. Thank you."

"She's still out of your league," Ruby singsongs as she walks away, and Killian scowls. He's trying to figure out how to approach Emma when Ruby places a grilled cheese sandwich in front of her and Emma smiles.

"Thanks, Ruby," she says. "And I _love _the new red in your hair."

"Thank you, Emma!" Ruby says back, and she walks away with a pained expression on her face.

Killian takes his chance and stands up with his coffee in hand, and she watches him in amusement as he approaches her. "Forgive me," he says, voice laced with charm, "but I've just spent the past fifteen minutes trying to find the perfect excuse to come talk to you, and all I can think of is: grilled cheese for breakfast?"

Emma chuckles, and it's such a delightful sound that Killian's heart clenches in something he can't describe, and his smile back is genuine. "It's a tradition," she explains. "The first time I came in, I was craving grilled cheese and hot chocolate. So now every time I come in, that's what I get. Granny makes the most delicious grilled cheese."

"Ah, well, nothing wrong with sticking to what you love, eh?" he says with a wink, and Emma raises her eyebrow back in return. "You should try it with pickles sometime."

Emma crinkles her nose and it's the most adorable thing he's seen—and _when the hell did he start thinking things were adorable_—and asks, "Pickles?"

Killian shrugs, a little, and tells her, "It's something my brother used to do for me. It's actually quite a culinary miracle."

Emma chuckles again, and Killian turns to leave her alone when she pipes, "Um, I noticed you were sitting alone…maybe you'd want to sit with me?"

His heart fucking _soars_ and he thinks he agrees but he's not quite sure any sound comes out, but he sits anyway and he's beaming. "Ah, I'm Killian. Killian Jones."

"Emma Swan," she says, and she offers him her hand. He takes it and it's soft and gentle and his are hard and calloused, but it fits in a way he can't describe. "What brings you to town, Killian Jones?"

He realizes he's still grasping her hand and quickly drops it and she smirks at his fluster. "I'm a sailor," he says, "but my ship wrecked a few miles from your docks, and the Coast Guard rescued me and set me free in this little town of yours. I'm staying here until the repairs are finished."

"Where are you sailing?" Emma asks, and it dawns on Killian that she's genuinely curious.

"Anywhere and everywhere," he says breathlessly, because just the idea of seeing all the world has to offer takes his breath away. Emma's eyes are glittering in excitement, and he has a fleeting thought to invite her with him.

"That sounds amazing," she says, and he realizes they've leaned in closer, and he can see that her eyes aren't just green, they're gold and green and _is that a little bit of blue_?

"Here's your eggs, water boy," Ruby says, and it snaps both of them back upright as Ruby puts the plate down. He laughs uncomfortably, and Ruby wears a shit-eating grin, and Emma's blushing again and it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Emma and Killian talk about a variety of subjects, he flirts and she shuts him down gently, but her eyes are still glittering and he thinks he still has a chance. It's only until Ruby comes over to inform them that they're preparing for the lunch rush that they realize how late it's gotten.

"Oh, I've got to go!" Emma says hastily, grabbing her jacket and her bag and rushing to put it on.

"Whoa, whoa, where's the fire, lass?" Killian asks, and Emma gives him an exasperated look.

"It's my best friend's birthday, David, and we have this tradition," she rushes, and Killian smiles at her and her traditions. "I'm going to be late, so I need go to right now, but—"

And she stops as though she isn't quite sure where she was going with her statement, but she looks at Killian with startled green eyes and he's begging every god he knows of that she'll ask him to come back. "It was very nice talking with you, Emma," he says, and her face cracks for a split second.

"Listen, do you maybe want to meet here tomorrow, for breakfast again? I have an art class I teach at ten, would you maybe want to meet at eight?"

The words came out so rushed, so timid, that Killian's not sure he hears her correctly, but he babbles nonsense of how he'll be there and she's smiling a brilliant smile and suddenly she's gone and Killian is left alone.

He decides maybe this town isn't so dreadful after all.

* * *

He's in there at 7:15 because he's too excited and he couldn't sleep because she was on his mind, and everything is new and exciting. He walks in with a huge grin, but it's replaced by Ruby marching up to him and grabbing him by the collar and dragging him out.

"What the bloody hell?" he demands, and Ruby lets him go forcefully.

"You can't be here," Ruby snaps, crossing her arms. "It's time for you to leave. Right now. And you aren't welcome back."

"Why?" Killian shouts, and Ruby glares at him.

"We're closed," she states flatly, but a group of men clambers past them loudly and make their way into the diner.

"Clearly," he sneers. "Look, I'm meeting with someone today, I'm not going to stand them up."

"Yeah, Emma, I know," Ruby grumbles. "But you aren't. So get the hell out and go back to your hotel room before I call the cops. You aren't welcome here anymore, so just leave before—"

"Before she comes?" Killian snaps. "Not a chance. I'm meeting with her."

"She doesn't _want _you to—" Ruby states.

"Then why would she _invite me_?" Killian interrupts, but then he hears her voice yelling Ruby's name and he whirls to face her. "Emma, thank god. Will you please tell her—"

"Do I know you?" Emma snaps, and Killian's jaw goes slack in shock. "Ruby, is this guy bothering you? Do you need me to call David to take him away?"

"No, Emma, I got it," Ruby says calmly, and Emma's shoulders relax as she nods. She shoots one last nasty look at Killian before walking into the diner and taking the same seat she usually does. His jaw is still dropped, and his heart is hammering in his chest, and he thinks he's angry but he might just be hurt. "Look, water boy. I'm gonna tell you a story and you have to listen."

"What the hell?" Killian says, and as soon as the words leave his mouth he _knows _he's not angry. "What…?"

"She doesn't remember you," Ruby says, and her voice is so calm that Killian thinks he might explode from confusion.

"We met yesterday, why wouldn't she remember me?" Killian insists, and the world starts spinning a little bit. Ruby makes him sit down and he's kind of glad for it, not that he'd ever admit it.

"Emma's a very special person," Ruby begins. "And I don't mean because she's beautiful or because she's smart or any of those other reasons. She's special because of what's happened to her."

Ruby takes a deep breath, and Killian braces himself against the chair even though he's not quite sure what he expects.

"About a year ago, Emma was in a horrific accident. It was her best friend's birthday, and they have this tradition where they picnic in the woods and pick apples off of the tallest tree they can see. She and David were driving, and she was telling a story about her art students. David's eyes were off the road for five seconds, but when he looked back, a deer was in their way. He swerved to miss it but he lost control of the car. It slammed into a tree—on Emma's side. David had a few cracked ribs and was bruised up but Emma…she suffered a traumatic head injury. She lost her short term memory."

"So, what, she can't remember anything?" Killian says, and its slightly sarcastic but Ruby just sighs tiredly as if she knows its just his way of defense.

"No," Ruby sighs. "She has all of her long term memory, because that's in a different part of her brain. She remembers her whole life, all of her past, up to the night before the accident. She remembers everything. She just can't hold on to the new information. It's like her slate gets cleaned every night."

"Please tell me this is a joke," Killian asks, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples to soothe his now-present headache.

"I wish I was!" Ruby laughs bitterly. "Emma doesn't deserve this. But she doesn't remember you."

"But what about the whole grilled cheese thing?" Killian insists, because this can't be true, it can't be happening, and he knows he should just let her go but he physically _can't_.

"She comes in here every morning because that's what she does on Saturdays, and January 18th was a Saturday," Ruby tells him. "She wakes up thinking every day is David's birthday."

"But she reads the newspaper," Killian argues, and he's certain this is a joke because it's so absurd, and it can't be real because it _hurts _to even imagine it is.

"David's wife, Mary Margaret, sets out a special newspaper each day," Ruby says softly. "They do everything in their power to make sure she doesn't suffer the pain of knowing there is a year of her memory that she's lost."

Killian scrubs his hand over his face. "You aren't joking, are you?" he finally says in defeat. "This is serious."

"I'm sorry," Ruby says. "But Emma means the world to me, she means the world to this whole town, so I've got to ask, just to know…what do you want with her?"

Killian looks passed Ruby's shoulders into the diner, where he can see Emma's blonde curls sitting in her regular seat. He wishes he had an explanation for the magnetic need he had for her, but he doesn't. So he answers, with eyes soft, "I'm not sure."

* * *

**Review?**


	2. gravity

**Thanks for the lovely follows! And after an unnecessarily long wait, here's the second chapter!**

* * *

He's pacing back and forth between the god-forsaken lobby of Granny's B&amp;B, stuck thinking of a beautiful blonde who'll never remember him. Killian groans in frustration and runs his fingers through his hair. He's sulky and irritable since Ruby forcefully removed him from Emma, not letting him return to her for several, tension-filled days.

"You're going to burn a hole in the floor," Ruby calls from above him, and Killian stops in his tracks as she descends the stairs. "What's your problem, anyway?"

"Nothing," Killian says defensively, crossing his arms and most definitely _not _pouting since Ruby put him on probation. Ruby raises an eyebrow and breezes passed him, taking her coat off the hanger and sliding it over her shoulders. "Where are you going?"

"Why do you need to know?" Ruby challenges, and Killian sighs dramatically.

"You don't need a coat to walk through three doors to get to Granny's," he tells her, and Ruby glares at his tone.

"You don't need my permission to go into Granny's either," she retorts back, picking up her keys from behind the front desk. Killian's jaw goes slack, and he blames the town for the surprises being thrown his way. "Close your mouth, you're going to catch flies."

"You," Killian stammers, "you—you're the one who told me to stay away from the diner!"

Ruby gives him an exasperated look, as if she can't believe she has to explain to him what he clearly should have read her mind to figure out. "That was before I realized why you were here," she says, and it's like she's talking to a five year old.

"You can skip the condescending mom get up, lass, I've no need for that," Killian says, false sweetness lacing his words. "Just go straight to the part where you tell me why I am here, since you obviously know more than me."

Ruby pushes past him again, pausing at the door that leads to the diner before giving him a tired look. "Don't hurt her, Killian."

Then she's gone and Killian feels like skipping because he thinks he has permission to go into the diner and see Emma again. And it's terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time, and he hasn't felt this way since he told Liam he was going to sail the world.

He grabs his shoes off the floor and yanks open the door, telling himself that he is _not _skipping to see Emma, he's simply walking fast. He reaches the diner and it's like a breath of fresh air when he sees her, sitting in the corner booth with a mug of hot chocolate and her nose in a book. He feels like punching the air, and though he can't explain why, he doesn't want the feeling to go away.

He's stopped by a hand near the bar, which, upon further inspection, Killian realizes belongs to an irritatingly smug looking man with short hair. "You're here for Emma, aren't you?" he asks, all-knowing, and Killian wants to punch him.

"Hands off, mate," Killian says, raising his eyebrows in challenge. The man pulls his hand back in surrender.

"I'm not questioning you, go for it," the man says. "Ruby told me all about you and her. I just don't think you'll actually be able to get her to eat with you."

Killian scoffs. "I'll bet you anything I can."

"Twenty bucks?" the man says calmly, and Killian shoots him one last nasty look before walking steadily towards Emma.

He sits down in the booth in front of hers, orders coffee from a waitress he's never seen, and waits until she's gone to talk. "Grimm Fairytales, aye? What's your favorite part so far, the exploiting of well-known fairytales, or the gruesome endings?"

Emma snaps her book shut and glares at him. "Do I know you?" she asks, raising a perfect eyebrow, and Killian gives her his most charming smile.

"No, lass, but I'm sure you'd like to," he flirts, sending her a wink. Emma looks positively affronted, and scowls at him.

"Rather not, thanks," she retorts, slamming her book into her bag. "And as for your lack of literary appreciation, your opinion, even though invalid, was still unwanted. Have a nice life."

She stands up and is walking out the door, and Killian can hear the irritating laughter of the man at the bar, so he stands up and follows her, shouting, "Wait, wait!"

Emma turns on her heel so fast he nearly collides into her, but the look in her eyes makes him glad he didn't. "What?" she snaps, and she's crossing her arms and her eyes are guarded but he can see right through them, can see how tired she is.

"Sorry, lass, I just didn't know how to start a conversation with you," he says, scratching the back of his ear.

"So you figured, hey, I'll just offend her, that'll work?"

"I wasn't thinking," Killian insists, and Emma rolls her eyes. "You make me nervous. I didn't know how to approach you."

"Yeah, well, next time you don't know how to approach a girl, just don't approach her," Emma snaps, and she's storming away again but he's always been a stubborn man so he finds himself ten steps behind her. "You can't catch a hint, can you?"

"Oh, I've caught it, I've just chosen to ignore it," Killian says, winking again.

"Oh, a real Prince Charming," Emma retorts sarcastically.

"No, ma'am, you've got me mistaken for a prince," he says fondly. "I've always considered myself as a rogue."

"Consider yourself out of my league," Emma says with a false smile, and he has to admit that she's quick on her feet.

"I have a name," he tells her, and she lengthens her strides but he keeps up with her tirelessly.

"What a coincidence, so do I!" Emma says in mock surprise. "And an address and a phone number—none of which I'll be giving to you. Have a nice life."

Killian laughs at her persistence, but he knows he can put hers to shame if he keeps up. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily."

Emma stops, so suddenly, that Killian is startled to realize that's he's walked on without her, quickly hustling back to her place. She's got a mysterious smile on her face, and her eyes are surprised but pleased, and he realizes he's made a breakthrough.

"Good," she says, and when she walks away, he lets her, because Killian Jones knows how to accept the small victories.

* * *

He's sitting in the diner when she walks in, and he's determined to win her over today. She sits down and pulls out her book, and he smiles at the opportunity she's presented him.

"Excuse me," he says as she approaches her booth, and she looks up at him. "I noticed you were reading the Grimm brothers, and I actually just finished that book myself—"

"Passez le fromage et le vin, monsieur," she says, and Killian's taken aback. "Emmenez-moi à la galerie d'art. Désolé, Monsier. "

"You don't speak English," he sighs. And even though he's pretty sure she asked him to pass the cheese, he knows he's lost today, and sits back down at the bar.

The irritating gambler, Victor, he'd learned, starts to laugh when Killian sits down.

"That's twenty for me," he says smugly. "Double or nothing tomorrow?"

"Sod off, bastard," Killian grumbles.

* * *

"Excuse me, miss?" Killian tries, and Emma looks up from her phone and stares at him. "I'm a reporter in town for a few days, and I've been asked to find the most beautiful woman in town and ask her a few questions. Since I've finally found her…perhaps it would be alright if I asked you some questions?"

Emma _smiles_, and he knows today is a good day when she gestures for him to sit down with a raised eyebrow. "Fire away."

He looks away from her lips with a startled jump, and, having not heard a word she'd said, says, "What?"

Emma rolls her eyes. "Just ask your questions."

And so he asks her pointless stuff, such as her best date (she gets a far away look in her eyes and a tiny little smile on her face, describing a simple candlelit dinner at her home one night), her favorite color (blue, she answers without hesitation), her worst date (she scowls and her pout is so adorable he can't focus), favorite book as a child (Velveteen Rabbit), and it's all so ridiculous and surreal that he's soaring.

They've talked for an hour when she apologetically tells him she has to go. He helps her put on her coat, and it's the first time he's ever touched her and it's electric. He watches as her fingers button up her coat, long and slender, ghosting across the fabric. He'd never longed for a touch more than he sought hers.

"Thank you for your time, Swan," he says, and he decides he likes the way her name feels on his tongue. She smiles slightly and he winks, then he's watching her as she leaves and smiling because he's done it, he's gotten her to talk to him. And it's all he needs for today so he turns to go back to his room and then—

"That's it?" she asks, and she's standing in the doorway, and her face is broken between hurt and anger.

"Sorry?" he says, but panic is clutching his heart because he's _screwed up_.

"All that crap about you being a reporter and complementing me? And trying to find the perfect date for me?" Emma retorts, crossing her arms. "And then you just let me go, don't ask for my number or to see me again or anything? Charming."

She's turning on her heel and storming out and he wants to follow her but his feet are rooted to the ground. When he finally realizes he has to _find _her and explain, he's too late watching her get into a car and start to drive. He doesn't even think, just grabs a bicycle and takes off after her, knowing he can't leave today like this, not when it was a good day.

By the time he reaches the house her yellow bug is parked in front of, he's winded and out of breath and greeted by a couple standing with their arms crossed. He approaches them, panting, and gives them the most charming smile he can muster. "Good morning. Might I ask, is Emma Swan in?"

"Who's asking?" the guy says, and he's buff and blonde and reminds Killian of Emma when he stares down at him. The woman next to him, petite with short black hair, elbows the man and frowns.

"David," she warns quietly, before stepping out to Killian and offering him her hand. "My name is Mary Margaret, and this is my husband, David. We live with Emma."

Realization hits Killian hard, and he stumbles back. "You're her caretakers," he breathes, and David frowns.

"We're her family," he corrects. "And we protect her. So that's what we're doing. Who are you?"

Killian puts his hands up and stares at David with wide eyes. "Mate, I'm not here to hurt her. In fact, I think I actually hurt her feelings and I'd quite like to apologize. So if you wouldn't mind…"

"You aren't going near Emma until you tell us who you are and what you want with her," David warns, stepping forward and pointing a finger at Killian. Mary Margaret pulls him back with a gentle touch on his shoulder. Killian starts babbling an explanation.

"I'm Killian Jones, I'm an independent sailor traveling the world but my vessel wrecked near your shores and I've made home in the town until the repairs are made and I can go on my jolly way. However, it was on my first day that I caught sight of Swan and realized that perhaps I had a reason to stay."

"What are you looking for with Emma?" David inquires, and Killian's shoulders slump in defeat.

"I'm not sure what I've found with her but I find myself unable to give it up," Killian admits, scratching the back of his ear. "I can't imagine parting with her."

"You can't have a relationship with a girl who can't remember you," Mary Margaret tells him, and he wants to scream because he _knows _but he wants Emma all the same.

"I'm not looking for one wild night with her," Killian protests, but David raises his hands to stop him.

"Any relationship with Emma would be a one night stand," he says sternly.

"That's not what I'm looking for, sir," Killian retorts. "I don't want to hurt Emma. As I mentioned, the only reason I'm here is because I think I hurt her feelings and I'd like to apologize."

"It's time to go, Killian," Mary Margaret says with a shake of her head and a thin-lipped smile. "And we're sorry, but you can't go near Emma anymore. Stay away from Granny's, and from Emma."

"I can't do that," Killian protests, running his fingers through his hair.

"Bye, Killian," David says with finality.

He watches as the couple walks away, arms around each other and so obviously in love it's nearly painful, but he's so entranced by the familiarity of their appearance that he can't look away.

It's only when he stands alone in the parking lot that he realizes he sees himself in the way David looks at Mary Margaret.

He's not ready to give that up.

* * *

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